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The Backdoor

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I finished this last night. Some nights I read unt I finished this last night. Some nights I read until 1 AM. I was enthralled, I loved her even more. She was complicated, full of life. I travelled with her to Spain, Rome, I lived in the countryside. I rooted for her. I felt her love for Lytton. Wow. No wonder I’m exhausted. It’s sad to think that there will be no more books devoted to letters as most inboxes will disappear into the ether. Now I'm into Lytton Strachey and Virginia Woolf's letters. . . . . . . . #virginiawoolf #lyttonstrachey #bloomsbury #bloomsburygroup #doracarrington #momentsofbeing #timeonmyhands #consciouscreativity ​#alifeofwords #allthingspaper #beautymatters
It’s my last “vacation” day. I don’t thi It’s my last “vacation” day. I don’t think I ever take a proper vacation, even when I’ve been at the beach I need to keep an eye out for my client, my website and other tidbits. So this week, from Christmas until today I took a break from everything. Tomorrow it’s back to work in my choppy, unexpected, multi-varied way. Which is never boring, but a bit exhausting. I took some time yesterday to do a brain dump because my head is nearing it’s storage limit and I need to let some things go. At the moment I feel like one of those roosters up in a barn that tell which way the wind blows… some times it blows towards poetry, sometimes it blows towards clay and sometimes it blows towards oil pastels. This tells me that I might have to put a bulk of materials out of sight and try to work with these three things for the first quarter of 2021 or I will go mad. Drawing can never be far away though. The last class I took in 2020 was Laura McKendry’s Domestika class, which has become my favourite of all times. I found the joy of drawing the same subject dozens of times without thinking or stopping. It’s one of the most generous classes, almost 4 hours! (You can find the direct link to this class on my profile, and I highly recommend it!) We are in semi-lockdown here in Montreal, nowhere to go but meander the icy streets and noticing the orderly birds landing and taking off in groups. Today as I binged on @poetryforge ’s patreon I found the poem The Red Poppy by Louise Glück and it was a punch to the heart. This stanza is the only prayer I need.
“When the train stops, the woman said, you must “When the train stops, the woman said, you must get on it. But how will I know, the child asked, it is the right train? It will be the right train, said the woman, because it is the right time.” Nobel Laureate Louise Glück I’ve been spending some time with my Spolia Tarot deck which I bought on a whim because I fell head over heels with Jen May’s artwork. I was curious about what I could use it for and when I came across Jessa Crispin’s book The Creative Tarot I thought I could find some insight. My intention has always been to use it for my creative work. So after doing a few spreads last weekend, and another one on Monday, they all seemed to point in the same direction, they all coincided on the things that have been distracting and blocking me. No surprises there. And then, as I reviewed the lessons from Poetry Forge 21 day challenge, I fell on these opening lines, and well, if I keep ignoring what is right in front of me, then somebody has to come and wack me because it can’t be more obvious. It’s time for the deeper art practice. As the great philosopher Jerry McGuire asked: Who’s with me? (hint, join me in the newsletter for the behind the curtain previews. Link in bio. This will not turn into a tarot thing, I promise, I just like to use it for personal journaling.)
It's been pouring out since yesterday. It's 12C ou It's been pouring out since yesterday. It's 12C outside. For a Xmas day in Montreal this is completely bonkers. Three or four years ago we were at -35C. Yes, in Montreal we talk about the weather a lot. Today I decided to draw with my fingers. Using my little tiny silver plate and spoon that I made myself for my graphite. The question: How do I feel was answered in this smudgy self-portrait. I'm currently reading #doracarrington's letters. I sink into the world of #bloomsbury again and again, wondering why I'm so fascinated if my upbringing and my origin had nothing to do with that world. Having read Lytton Strachey's biography, and now these letters, I feel I'm a composite of those two people, somehow. I'm digging into what this means. "But there is no Shakespeare, there is no Beethoven; certainly and emphatically there is no God; we are the words; we are the music; we are the thing itself.” V. Woolf. . . . . . . . #howtobehuman #timeonmyhands #alifeofwords
We spent one last weekend at the cabin. After this We spent one last weekend at the cabin. After this one, we might start looking for a new one to rent. There is an expanse of time coming up which we need to mold it to two different beats. My husband is having a well-deserved sabbatical but I must continue to work. I spent the weekend having fun with my @spoliatarot. Instead of falling down the trappings of over-planning (which I did last year, and well, we all know how that turned out…) I did a few spreads to help me untangle the multiple projects, multiple desires, multiple possibilities. It was an eye-opening experience. It confronted me to the fact that maybe, what I think I want is not actually true. That once again, I’ve been led by over-romantizing people and situations. One thing I do know is that this year I finally started working in my own way. No longer chasing strategy, but becoming like an organic carrot, weirdly shaped, growing like a chubby hand with different sized appendages, but nevertheless, full of vitamins and juice. I enjoy working on my newsletter. It is by far, what enjoy the most. As well as writing blog-posts and doing my co-creation sessions. So these three things will carry on into 2021. The rest, I’m not sure. How will my art evolve? Do I need an artist website? Is it time? I learned that I must wait a bit before plunging into new things. The Tarot also insisted (through three different spreads) that there is a lot that needs to be released. Making a list of things I have in the air right now, including two etsy shops, and more projects than I can ever complete in a lifetime, it’s time to clean the slate. I also toyed with the idea of archiving all the posts on my Instagram and starting fresh. Do you have any rituals for the last two weeks of this tumultuous excuse of a year? . . . . . . . . . . #flowarte #penguinbooks #lets_be_vulnerable #theviraldeload #howtobehuman #reclaimingvulnerability #poetryofsimplethings⁣ #momentsofmine⁣ #seekinspirecreate⁣ #creating_boldly⁣ #emergingartist⁣ #processdrivenartist⁣ #momentsofbeing #timeonmyhands #consciouscreativity ​#alifeofwords #artistry_flair
Do you do a yearly round up? Like your top movies, Do you do a yearly round up? Like your top movies, books, etc? If you do, tag me, I’d love to check it out. Tomorrow the last newsletter of the year is going out. I talk about becoming a beginner again this year and how freeing it felt. I also share the best content I consumed this year across categories: books, podcasts, newsletters, classes, etc. Many writers, artists and creators made my year bearable, entertaining, and educational. Sometimes those three things at the same time! So if you are curious and want to discover some stuff join in! Link in bio! . . . . . . . . . #howtobehuman #virginiawoolf #tovejansson #poetryofsimplethings⁣ #momentsofmine⁣ #seekinspirecreate⁣ #emergingartist⁣ #processdrivenartist⁣ #momentsofbeing #timeonmyhands #consciouscreativity ​#alifeofwords #allthingspaper #seekmoments #holdthemoment #crativedirection #idratherbereading #bibliophilelife

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